Routine Interrupted

I am not spontaneous. Everything in my world has a place. When something new is introduced, I quickly figure out, where it will go. When I decided to start this blog 6 weeks ago, I carved out a specific time in my day to work on it. No choice! Make it happen! Once my commitment was fulfilled, I decided to spend time perfecting my new hobby. Instead of writing blogs I started reading blogs to see how it’s done! Within 3 days my writing structure went down the shitter! Old negative thoughts have started to seep in. “You aren’t a writer. Did you see those other blogs?” I have been using my research/learning time, to look for reasons to quit. 3 days ago I thought I had established a fool proof habit! I was in the groove! Writing was something I motivated to continue working on. I knew I kinda sucked. But it didn’t matter because I was having fun learning a new skill. 3 days ago I felt like my enthusiasm was endless! Today I needed to go looking for inspiration online. I wanted to find out, how other people feel about their writing. I came across this quote that changed everything! “Have the courage to write badly.”~ Joshua Wolf Shenk. Yes!!! I need to give myself permission to suck a little! I’m a newbie! My mind is flooded with times I have encouraged others to keep trying. When I talk to people about engaging in a new activity, exercise or behavior, giving up seems ridiculous! As a therapist I am always preaching about building momentum, planting seeds, and sticking to the plan! Apparently I need to listen to my own advice and not my negative thinking! I’m amazed at how fast the naysayer voice stepped in and how easy it was to follow! The funny thing is, it didn’t feel pessimistic in the moment! It felt like the voice of reason! The one I should listen to if I want to play it safe! Playing it safe means, staying the same! I don’t want my writing to stay the same! I want my writing to improve! I know I need to continue to plug away, water those newly planted seeds consistently! Have you ever taken a break from a new practice and found yourself rapidly slipping into an old routine? It takes less time than I ever imagined!