It’s Not About You

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One of the best bits of advice I ever got, was to read the book, The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz. I read it for the first time about 15 years ago. It completely changed my experience of interactions with others. When someone is talking to me and I feel myself getting heated, defensive or upset, I remember “Don’t take things personally.” All of us go through life projecting our own situations, histories and insecurities onto others. It’s easy to get caught up in it. That book taught me the art of taking a step back, to avoid reacting to the bull shit. It doesn’t mean you disregard other people’s thoughts and feelings. It just means you try to look at it from a different perspective. This view point feels more peaceful, kind and all around better to me. Here’s something to try next time you are having a chat with someone and you feel yourself getting worked up. Say in your mind several times,” Don’t take it personally.” Let me know if it helped! 

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8 Comments Add yours

  1. Miriam says:

    Absolutely. Couldn’t agree more. It’s too easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment but takes more effort to not take things personally. I often advise my kids to “take a step back” and have to remember it myself.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. plankful says:

      So simple yet so powerful!!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I love this post. I have a VERY hard time not taking things personally. I didn’t used to, but infidelity and lies in my last marriage really twisted up my insides. I really need to read this today, as I’m having a lot of trouble with a co-worker. I try very hard to not let the words affect me, but they do every time. Thank you and I’m going to re-blog! Have a great day.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. plankful says:

      You just made my day! I’m so glad it helped! Think about reading the entire book ” The Four Agreements”! It totally helps with what you are talking about!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I will. ..thank you 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I used to takes things personally until a few years back…and now I “take a step back” and look at it differently. Really is an eye-opener. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. plankful says:

      I felt myself falling into the hole yesterday. I remembered to do this and it helped immensely!!!

      Liked by 1 person

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