Taking It Down a Notch

Yesterday, I spent the day at the hospital waiting to hear what was wrong with my mother. She’s medically complicated and spends a good amount of time at the doctor’s office. But this visit to the hospital was unexpected. When I arrived, she was getting tests and I couldn’t see her. I sat in her room and felt the anxiety and tears rise. I started wondering, is this the true beginning of the end. I knew I had a couple of options at that moment. I could stay in her room and worry until I got myself more worked up. Or find something to do until I had all the facts. I decided to get some fresh air. It was a beautiful day. One of the first warm days in Boston this year. I went outside, sat under a tree and looked up. I realized it was a very similar visual to my favorite backyard spot at home. The only difference was what was going on in my mind. Just looking at this green spot in the middle of the city had a calming effect on me. I still had a pit in my stomach, but it was manageable. We can’t fix or predict every stressor. But we can manipulate our responses them. We have the ability to turn it up or turn it down. My mom is going to be fine. Her diagnosis could of been a lot worse. It was still an intense day. But I could of made it a lot worse too.

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