Do I Have That Problem?


My best friend growing up had a frequent worry about having a booger hanging out her nose. It was such a huge concern for her, we came up with a way she could question me about it, in front of people. In a crowd, she would ask,” Do I have that problem?” She would flare her nose and I could do a quick glance for a bat in the cave. I have no memory of a positive scan. In the moment she needed reassurance everything looked fine. Like many of us, my dear childhood friend spent a lot of time worrying about nonsense. But she is also incredibly open to feedback. She’s the type of person that hears what other people have to say about her. She uses what’s helpful and discards the rest. This is not my fist blog on the topic of feedback. It’s something I am always learning about. Giving and receiving constructive criticism is a delicate dance between the two parties. There are many factors to consider. Today I’m thinking about my own openness to the process. When someone else is doing something that appears to be unproductive, unaware or just annoying, can I ask myself the question, “Do I have that problem?” It has been said what we find aggravating about others, is what others find irritating about us. How open are you to radical candor? 


7 Comments Add yours

  1. Miriam says:

    It’s always good to have feedback, especially when it’s about important things! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. plankful says:

      I agree! Especially from a source that their intent is to be helpful!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. heartandsoul777 says:

    best opening sentence hahaha! cracked me up! i guess what i dont like so much about constructive criticism is that its got the word criticism in it maybe if it were called constructive advise i would be more open to giving it as well as receiving it. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. plankful says:

      Good point!!!! Criticism does sound harsh. Advise sounds better!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. heartandsoul777 says:

        hahahaa right?! its a phrase that has always confounded me?! Saposta be a positive but sounds like a negative??? my brain doesnt know where to put it i guess?

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I love constructive criticism, but sometimes I have to beg for it because the person in question isn’t sure how I’ll react. My best friend told me recently I’m one of those “blunt” friends. Like, painfully honest. Not everyone can appreciate my honesty, but I’m trying to move away from feeling like I have to please everyone all the time. All that said, I try not to give unsolicited advice.


  4. kalison0515 says:

    Funny that you’d write a post about feedback. I saw a webinar recently about giving and receiving feedback. If it’s not provided effectively, it’s just about guaranteed to be received poorly. In your example with your friend, it’s as simple as she trusts that you’ve got her back.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s